wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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