I looked at my own cervix.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
