He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
