Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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