I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize