drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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