I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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