i just google imaged poop.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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