Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
operation have a gay friend backfired
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize