Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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