watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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