Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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