I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
