Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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