So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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