At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
