I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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