Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize