Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
