the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
