i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
