I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
