Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
