you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
