I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize