dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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