i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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