Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
