i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
