I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
