im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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