I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You pole danced in your parka.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
