real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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