Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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