hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
