Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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