got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
