Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
