Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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