Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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