and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
