I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
