billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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