The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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