so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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