Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
