So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
