That's intense
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize