can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
