Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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