we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
