Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
