Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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