Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
