whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
