I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
