Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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