Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
