I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
