Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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