I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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